Moms of Tweens and Teens

  • Home
  • Workshops
    • Workshops
    • Member Login
  • Podcast
  • Store
    • Store
    • Gift Guides
  • Contact
    • Contact Me For Coaching
    • Speaking
    • Contact Me
    • Write For Moms of Tweens and Teens
  • About
    • My Story
    • You’re Not Crazy, You’re Not a Bad Parent, and No Your Teen Really Doesn’t Hate You
    • Resources
      • Support
      • Parenting Resources
      • Help for Troubled Teens
      • Substance Abuse and Addiction
      • Mental Health (Depression / Suicide)
      • Learning Challenges ADHD, Autism
  • Blog

4 Parenting Mistakes You Could Be Making Right Now

September 23, 2018 By Sheryl Gould

23 Sep
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
Reddit
119 Shares

parenting mistakes

Common Parenting Mistakes with Teens and Tweens and What Parents Can Learn from Them

Parenting teens can be challenging, leaving ample opportunity to make mistakes. It’s important to identify our mistakes so we can grow in awareness and learn to break unhealthy parenting patterns. This will bring healing and build closer relationships with our kids.

All parents want the best for their kids and do all they can to raise healthy independent young adults, but there are some parenting mistakes that may hinder that process.

Below are common parenting mistakes with teens and what parents can learn from them.

Mistake #1: Responding to teen drama with more drama.

Teens can be emotionally charged in how they express themselves and a parent’s response can be equally dramatic.

It turns out, this over-reactive behavior is actually quite normal for tweens and teens and an emotional response from the parent only fuels the fire. Tweens and teens are managing raging hormones that ignite strong feelings and parents often get the brunt of that stress, but that doesn’t mean parents can respond in a similar fashion.

It’s important to set clear limits on unacceptable behavior but it’s equally critical to help kids learn how to express their feelings productively so they can develop effective communication skills. When teenagers display negative behavior, parents need to control their own outbursts and help them navigate through the emotional turbulence that comes at their age.

Mistake #2: Giving ridiculously harsh consequences. 

When teens and tweens break rules, are disrespectful, or make grave mistakes, parents can respond in the heat of the moment with severe consequences.

Lashing out with harsh penalties is not productive. Hurling massive consequences doesn’t help change the behavior or develop responsibility.

A better approach would be to not lash out with any consequences immediately, but instead parents should respond after they calm down and decide on appropriate disciplinary actions their teen understands. Discuss the issues surrounding the negative behavior, then establish more realistic and educational repercussions. 

Mistake #3: Projecting your own personal experience on your teen’s circumstances

Parents cannot assume their teens will have the same experiences and feelings that they did growing up.

When parents project their own childhood experiences on what their kids are going through, they are not validating their teen’s unique perspective. How we were raised has a great impact on how we parent our kids, but parents must remember to separate their personal past from their teen’s present.

Our kids are unique individuals born with their own personality traits, emotions, and life experiences. Make sure to detach from past experiences and the emotions that go with them and focus solely on your child’s personal circumstances and perspective. Pay close attention to what your teen is sharing and help them pave their own road.

Mistake #4: Focusing on performance more than personality.

Many parents spend too much time praising their kids’ accomplishments instead of praising their character traits and personal attributes.

When parents focus more on achievements and success, it sends a message that what their kids do is more important than who they are. Teens are slowly developing their identity during these formative years and they need our attention and validation on their character and growing personality traits.

Celebrate your kid’s successes, but spend more time acknowledging and praising their personal growth so they realize your love isn’t conditional on their performance. Be intentional with where you are giving your attention and make sure to recognize the special qualities you see developing in your teen.

 

This is why I love our community at Moms of Tweens and Teens. We’re all going to make mistakes, no doubt about it. But when we know that we’re not alone and that there’s support that’s available, it makes all the difference. We can take our mistakes, give ourselves some self-compassion and practice doing things differently in order to build closer relationships with our kids.

Please join our Facebook community and be part of, and benefit from, the support network we have built!

 

Related

Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
Reddit
119 Shares

Filed Under: Blog, Parenting

About Sheryl Gould

Hi! I'm Sheryl and I'm so glad you're here!

Are you tired of having the same arguments with your adolescent son or daughter? Scared that you’re failing as a mom? At your wit’s end and not sure what to do?

I can help. I’ve coached moms for over 12 years to become conscious, calmer and more connected parents. And I know the difference it makes when you get support and learn new ways of relating. It changes everything!

teen tween boundaries masterclass

Hi! I'm Sheryl and I'm so glad you're here!

Are you tired of having the same arguments with your adolescent son or daughter? Scared that you’re failing as a mom? At your wit’s end and not sure what to do?

I can help. I’ve coached moms for over 12 years to become conscious, calmer and more connected parents. And I know the difference it makes when you get support and learn new ways of relating. It changes everything!
Contact me I'd love to hear from you!
Email Me

A Weekly Dose of Inspiration

Straight to Your Inbox

« Fun Gifts Ideas for Your Tween Boy!
The FDA Finally Addresses the Vaping Epidemic Among Tweens and Teens »

Hi! I'm Sheryl and I'm so glad you're here!

Are you tired of having the same arguments with your adolescent son or daughter? Scared that you’re failing as a mom? At your wit’s end and not sure what to do?

I can help. I’ve coached moms for over 12 years to become conscious, calmer and more connected parents. And I know the difference it makes when you get support and learn new ways of relating. It changes everything! Read More…

Available on Amazon

Follow Me!

Follow Me!

Follow Along

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Top Posts & Pages

  • 9 Reasons You’re Not Crazy, You’re Not a Bad Mom, and No Your Teenager Doesn’t (Actually) Hate You
    9 Reasons You’re Not Crazy, You’re Not a Bad Mom, and No Your Teenager Doesn’t (Actually) Hate You
  • I’m Learning How to Love My Teen Son 
    I’m Learning How to Love My Teen Son 
  • Dear Daughter, Sometimes a Friend is Not Really a Friend
    Dear Daughter, Sometimes a Friend is Not Really a Friend
  • My Daughter Confessed to Vaping and This is What I Said
    My Daughter Confessed to Vaping and This is What I Said
  • There’s Just Something About A Mama and Her Boy
    There’s Just Something About A Mama and Her Boy
  • To My Teen, No Matter What Happens, I’ll Love You Through It All
    To My Teen, No Matter What Happens, I’ll Love You Through It All
  • Home
  • Workshops
  • Podcast
  • Store
  • Contact
  • About
  • Blog

momsoftweensandteens

Whenever it’s sunny out, it gives me an excuse t Whenever it’s sunny out, it gives me an excuse to get the family outside and go for a walk! ☀️💕

Even with our crazy schedules, a simple walk and check in with your kid can mean a world of a difference.
Some Tuesday motivation! You were given these chil Some Tuesday motivation! You were given these children because you are who they need — what amazing truth. 

Thank you and I love this so much!! @crunchy_mama_0128 🙌🏼💜
Hey mamas, I don’t know what burdens you’re ca Hey mamas, I don’t know what burdens you’re carrying or challenges you’re having this week. 

What I do know: it’s SO important for us to know we’re not alone and have a safe place where we can come, vent, and share what’s on our hearts. 

I care about you and hope that this week — you will give yourself lots of grace and compassion. We all desperately need it and deserve it.
Can you think of any more? Comment down below!❤️
Mommas we can be so hard on ourselves. We are all Mommas we can be so hard on ourselves. We are all doing our best and that is more than good enough. You are doing so much better than you think! Let’s give ourselves more grace today 🤍😊
Todd and I spent some sweet time with his dad this Todd and I spent some sweet time with his dad this weekend!! We are loving 70° weather and are definitley not missing the Chicago snow🥶
Such a good truth 🙌🏼 we are in this together Such a good truth 🙌🏼 we are in this together!
@ohyesiwouldgirl, I love this! 👏🏼😂 Which @ohyesiwouldgirl, I love this! 👏🏼😂

Which stage is your kid in right now?
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2021 · Moms of Tweens and Teens · Designed by Beyond Blog Design· Built on Genesis Framework · Privacy · Membership Terms