Moms of Tweens and Teens

  • Home
  • Workshops
    • Workshops
    • Member Login
  • Podcast
  • Store
    • Store
    • Gift Guides
  • Contact
    • Contact Me For Coaching
    • Speaking
    • Contact Me
    • Write For Moms of Tweens and Teens
  • About
    • My Story
    • You’re Not Crazy, You’re Not a Bad Parent, and No Your Teen Really Doesn’t Hate You
    • Resources
      • Support
      • Parenting Resources
      • Help for Troubled Teens
      • Substance Abuse and Addiction
      • Mental Health (Depression / Suicide)
      • Learning Challenges ADHD, Autism
  • Blog

Filling Our Tank When We’re Running Out of Gas

January 2, 2016 By Sheryl Gould

2 Jan
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
Reddit
When you are running out of gas

 

When you are running out of gas

The other day, I actually ran out of gas. I couldn’t believe it. On second thought, maybe I could. I was stressed to the max and not taking care of myself. I was on my way to the beach to watch the sun rise, when all of a sudden my car began to act strange. “What the heck is wrong? Do I need a tune up?” The steering wheel froze, the car spit, started, lurched and came to a stop. Dumbfounded, I glanced at the gas gauge and then it hit me. Two days ago, I noticed the gas gauge was on empty and told myself I didn’t have enough time to stop. Often when I am running on empty (figuratively), I tell myself I am too busy to tend to those things in my life that need attention. Running out of gas is indeed a metaphor I need to remember when I find myself running on fumes.

There are many reasons we get burned out and it’s important that we recognize not only the symptoms and signs, but what causes burnout in the first place. What can we do on a daily basis to keep us filled up?

I am going to provide you with a tool that will help you quickly identify the sources and signs of burnout and what you can do to restore balance to your life.

So grab some paper, a pen and allow me to guide you to creating your own Self Care Inventory.

The Self-Care Inventory is broken into 3 parts.

  • The Dashboard Lights
  • The Gas Guzzlers
  • The Fuel Tank Fillers

The Dashboard Lights

Not exercising is a huge dashboard light for me –  a sign that I am back in the “scarcity mentality”. The scarcity mentality is the myth that there is not enough time, talent energy or resources available. Exhaustion sets in and I can barely get off the couch, watching one CSI episode after another. I’m not even motivated enough to walk my dog. Negative thinking sneaks up on me and I find myself incessantly chastising my family and those around me, getting angry in traffic, and honking and impatiently yelling at the guy in front of me. I am critical of everyone around me, and especially with myself. I know it’s bad when I can’t stand hearing my husband chewing his food. Self-compassion is out the window, and I don’t like who I am. These are all clearly dashboard lights. Signs that I need to slow down, pay attention, pull over and fill my tank.

Here are some of mine:

self-care-inventory

The Gas Guzzlers

How could I possibly be so stupid to run out of gas? Well, I didn’t pay attention to my dashboard light. It’s as simple as that.

Gas-guzzlers are sneaky, sure, and not always immediately identifiable until we be become aware of them. And sometimes they still creep up on us. For a while, they may even feel good.

In our culture, busyness is worn like a badge of honor. As a recovering people pleaser, I have a hard time saying no. A part of my identity has always been trying to take on the world’s problems with the belief that I could make it all better. This is something that I have to monitor to this day.

Gas-guzzlers take on many forms –  perfectionism, attempting to please others, or striving incessantly to be and do more. We may feel overly responsible to take care of others and pour ourselves out without ever stopping to refuel until our health and relationships suffer.

It is important that we identify and detect these areas that suck us dry in order to establish boundaries when necessary, slow down, get back on track and refuel.

Here are mine:

gas-guzzlers

The Fuel Tank Fillers

What is life giving to you?

Recovering from burnout requires replenishing your resources with people, places, and things that clear your head to create feelings of well-being.

These are the things that fill your emotional, physical and spiritual tank. When you adopt these daily practices, you feel more grounded, peaceful and joyful.

For me, this involves meditation, prayer, listening to music, reading, running, and spending time with family and friends. Here are more. I will have these written and a picture in my notebook)

The Self-Care Inventory is a wonderful tool. I have mine where I can see it as a daily reminder to refuel with the activities that are life giving. Using this tool will help you to clearly recognize activities that deplete you. While you may not be able to completely rid them from your life, you will be able to gauge them, assess your energy resources, and take time to replenish your tank.

Here is my typed out and completed list I post next to my computer to remind me.

fuel-tank-fillers

I hope that by sharing mine, that it helped you to think about what yours might be!

The more we can replenish our resources with what creates feelings of well-being emotionally, physically, and spiritually, the more grounded, peaceful and joyful we will feel!

Questions:  What is one thing you would like to do to create a greater sense of well-being today?

Related

Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
Reddit

Filed Under: Blog, Self Care

About Sheryl Gould

Hi! I'm Sheryl and I'm so glad you're here!

Are you tired of having the same arguments with your adolescent son or daughter? Scared that you’re failing as a mom? At your wit’s end and not sure what to do?

I can help. I’ve coached moms for over 12 years to become conscious, calmer and more connected parents. And I know the difference it makes when you get support and learn new ways of relating. It changes everything!

teen tween boundaries masterclass

Hi! I'm Sheryl and I'm so glad you're here!

Are you tired of having the same arguments with your adolescent son or daughter? Scared that you’re failing as a mom? At your wit’s end and not sure what to do?

I can help. I’ve coached moms for over 12 years to become conscious, calmer and more connected parents. And I know the difference it makes when you get support and learn new ways of relating. It changes everything!
Contact me I'd love to hear from you!
Email Me

A Weekly Dose of Inspiration

Straight to Your Inbox

5 Ways to Stop Beating Yourself Up »

Hi! I'm Sheryl and I'm so glad you're here!

Are you tired of having the same arguments with your adolescent son or daughter? Scared that you’re failing as a mom? At your wit’s end and not sure what to do?

I can help. I’ve coached moms for over 12 years to become conscious, calmer and more connected parents. And I know the difference it makes when you get support and learn new ways of relating. It changes everything! Read More…

Available on Amazon

Follow Me!

Follow Me!

Follow Along

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Top Posts & Pages

  • Let's Put A Heart on Our Kid's Door Leading Up to Valentine's Day to Tell Them All The Things We Love About Them!
    Let's Put A Heart on Our Kid's Door Leading Up to Valentine's Day to Tell Them All The Things We Love About Them!
  • What a Middle School Girl Needs Most From Her Mom
    What a Middle School Girl Needs Most From Her Mom
  • Warning: Puberty in Boys, The Things They Don't Tell You
    Warning: Puberty in Boys, The Things They Don't Tell You
  • Stop Saying These 10 Things to Your Teenagers
    Stop Saying These 10 Things to Your Teenagers
  • 8 Ways to Connect With Your Teen Son When He Won't Talk to You
    8 Ways to Connect With Your Teen Son When He Won't Talk to You
  • You Can Blame Your Teen's Brain for the Mood Swings
    You Can Blame Your Teen's Brain for the Mood Swings
My Tweets
  • Home
  • Workshops
  • Podcast
  • Store
  • Contact
  • About
  • Blog

momsoftweensandteens

Spot on. Spot on.
Are you tired of reminding, nagging, and arguing w Are you tired of reminding, nagging, and arguing with your tween or teen?⠀
Do you find yourself questioning when to step in and when to let them figure it out?⠀
Do you feel ineffective when it comes to your tween or teen becoming more responsible?⠀
If you answered yes to one of these questions, I want to invite you to our 3 Day on-line LIVE training, “How To Build A Better Relationship With Your Tween or Teen”⠀
Day 1:⠀
How To Listen So Your Teen Will Talk and Talk So Your Teen Will Listen⠀
Day 2: How To Stop Disrespect and Power Struggles⠀
Day 3: How To Set Boundaries and Build Healthy Communication⠀
I'm going to be holding a FREE, LIVE, online Moms of Tweens and Teens Training soon - starting February 3rd.⠀
Sign up in our bio!
So true! 😂 😂 😂 ⠀ We can relate much bet So true! 😂 😂 😂 ⠀
We can relate much better to our tweens and teens when we are willing to ask - hmmm what might my version of this be?
Tween Daughters and Puberty...⠀ Do you ever wond Tween Daughters and Puberty...⠀
Do you ever wonder what's normal or how to have those awkward conversations?⠀
In this episode, Dr. Sheryl Ziegler talks with me about the Social Emotional and Physical Changes Tween Girls Go Through and How You Can Be Prepared Before She Hits The Teen Years.⠀
Link in the bio!⠀
⠀
A few highlights:⠀
Preteen behaviors - what to expect and what's normal.⠀
How to prepare your daughter for all of the social, emotional, and physical changes that she's going through during puberty and what's to come during the teen years. ⠀
How to have difficult and awkward conversations about puberty, etc. with her.⠀
How to use the tween years (9,10,11, 12) as an opportunity to celebrate your daughter's transition to womanhood.⠀
Laying a strong foundation for a strong relationship with your daughter where she will feel like she can talk to you.
If you’re a mom of a boy - you are well aware th If you’re a mom of a boy - you are well aware that there is no manual that can possibly prepare you for the unique joys and challenges of raising a son.⠀
⠀
In this podcast episode, I had the privilege of interviewing Kara Lewis, the founder of The Joys Of Boys - we discuss the joys and challenges, how every boy is different, tapping into what they really need and finding new ways to connect with them. ⠀
⠀
If you're finding it difficult to know how to connect with your son and support him when he's struggling give this interview a listen! Link is in the bio.
Right?! 😂 🤣 I'm so excited for the new year Right?! 😂 🤣  I'm so excited for the new year!!!
Totally feeling this way today! How about you?❤️ ❤️ ❤️
All behavior is purposeful, meaning there is a rea All behavior is purposeful, meaning there is a reason when our kids lash out and are hurtful.⠀
Anger oftentimes a secondary emotion. Hurt can often be lurking underneath the surface. ⠀
Next time your tween or teen is hurtful, be curious about what might be going on underneath the surface versus just reacting back. ⠀
When our kids are upset we can shift that interaction by being a parent who tunes in and cares. ⠀
We can say things like, "Wow. That hurt. I see you're upset. What's going on?"
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2021 · Moms of Tweens and Teens · Designed by Beyond Blog Design· Built on Genesis Framework · Privacy · Membership Terms