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How Parents Can Be More Positive With Their Tweens and Teens

Last week, I was buying candy for Halloween, and while standing in the checkout line, I couldn’t believe there were advent calendars on display! Strolling through the store, I saw Christmas cookies, candies, Santas, and Reindeer, right along with all the selections of stuffing and turkeys! 

So, who’s feeling like they’re already behind and ready to jump into the holiday frenzy?!

It’s moments like these when I have to press the pause button and ask myself, “What really matters?”

When I dig deep, I realize the only thing that really matters – is our hearts.

And when I’m in “the frenzy,” I forget about that truth because it gets buried beneath the heap of all I have to do. I forget to pause and be in the moment with myself and my kids and savor all the good that this life brings.

The truth…

What matters most is not about how moist the turkey and stuffing are or having a beautiful table setting (although those are all nice, right?). It’s not about buying the right gifts or even making sure everybody is happy and getting along (that is a setup EVERY TIME).

What matters is that our kids know we see them for who they are and that we appreciate, acknowledge, and embrace all the amazing strengths they have. Right now, I want to share how parents can be more positive with their tweens and teens because showing how grateful you are for them means more than anything else.

Focusing on all their strong character traits and unique talents and what makes them such special human beings is really what they crave more than food (which is hard to believe when you load up at Costco, and it only lasts a few days!).

When you’re a parent of a tween or teen, it’s so easy to focus on the negative behaviors – the eye rolls, the grunts, the disrespectful comments, the not looking up when you’re talking to them because their eyes are super-glued to their phone, the lack of motivation, the missing assignments, and the messy rooms – it’s so easy and YET – there is so much good there too.

Our kids need us to really see them, even if it feels like looking for the good stuff is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. We must train our minds, change our perspectives, and see the unique gifts that live inside each one of them.

What we focus on and feed with our validation and love- grows.

Our kids need to be seen not for what is wrong with them or what needs fixing – they need the positive and empowering nourishment that will strengthen them to be the very best they can be.

And I know this isn’t always easy to do because parenting tweens and teens is challenging, so I’m here to help you with that.

This month, we are doing a gratitude challenge to let our kids know how much we love them.

We challenge YOU to put an autumn leaf on your kid’s door and let them know all the things you appreciate and love about them! Click HERE to access the printables!

We challenge you to cut out these leaves and write an affirmation or message of love on each one.

Then, every morning, stick one of the leaves somewhere your child is sure to see it.

Let’s remind our kids (and ourselves) how much they mean to us!

You can access the printable ready-to-cut-out leaves and some affirmations- just click HERE!

We often don’t realize how much we nag, lecture, and point out all the things they’re forgetting, not doing, or what we believe needs improvement (because, as we know, there can be a lot!)

Without intending to, we can treat our kids more like “fixer-upper” projects than the unique, one-of-a-kind, amazing, miraculous beings that they are (even if they are snarky, sassy, and sloppy these days!).

Our kids need to know how much they matter. They desperately need us to notice what they are doing well and how much we appreciate them.

So this month and leading up to Thanksgiving, we will provide you with ideas, inspiration, and tips that can help you connect with your tween and teen’s heart.

I am so grateful for YOU and that you are here!​

Rooting so hard for you!


Here are some more awesome articles that can help you focus on all the GOOD THINGS and be thankful:

New Thanksgiving Decor Holiday Gift Guide To Make Your Home Festive (2023)

10 Amazing Charities to Donate to as a Family

When All Else Fails, Try Gratitude

​Let’s Create Gratitude With This Thanksgiving Printable!

75 Affirmations to Say to Your Adolescent

5 Ways to Have a Less Stressful Thanksgiving


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