Seeking Answers To Life’s Hardest Questions Bonds a Mother and Son
Do you ever experience those moments in life where you feel overwhelmed by a sixth sense or supernatural foreshadowing that the upcoming conversation will be of such great importance to you that you will never forget it? Life-changing, eye-opening, thought-provoking, and heart-warming; a monumental exchange that requires buckling up and a subsequent mind-blowing bonding between a mother and child? That very type of conversation happened just this weekend with my 11-year-old son….
A Life-changing conversation between a mother and son…
While sitting in the local McAllister’s parking lot earlier this evening, my youngest son commented: “Dad and I had a really deep conversation this weekend.” Immediately, my curiosity arose. “Oh really, do you care to share?” I anxiously held my breath, hoping he would indulge me in this mystery conversation he shared with his father in my absence. He went on to say that the conversation began when he told his dad, my ex-husband, that he often wonders about his ‘other’ siblings. I am unsure what his dad’s reaction was, but mine was confused. I ‘wonder’ about my son’s older teenage brother (my firstborn, who is 13) all the time, but I sensed this was something entirely different.
As I looked at my second-born child, I asked, “Are you talking about the babies we lost before you were born?” My son shook his head affirmatively. I have openly discussed my two devastating miscarriages with both of my sons. While it is not a hurt that plagues me daily at this point (this happened several years ago), it is a gentle nudging of my spirit at certain times, often triggered by certain situations. It was the furthest thing on my mind this Sunday evening. However, you don’t dismiss an opening to a meaningful conversation when it fatefully arises……
“What is it, you wonder?” I asked my son. Well, you know. What they would have looked like, acted like, and where they are now, Dad asked me when I thought the human soul became alive.”
WHOA.
I was certainly not prepared for this depth from my 11-year-old, especially about a topic so close to my heart and easily prompts such deep emotion. Again, when your kid broaches topics such as heaven, hell, life, death, when life starts, or when the soul takes flight, or any number of deeply philosophical, faith-based topics, you put the intense craving for McAllister’s unsweet tea (with two lemon wedges, please) and Oh! a sugar cookie aside, and dive right in.
I will spare you the intricacies of one of the most meaningful conversations I have ever shared with one of my two favorite humans in this world. We reached some remarkable understandings, and it was the absolute greatest pleasure to witness firsthand how this beautiful, questioning, strongly faithful young man processes what we know, what we do not know, and the overwhelming questions that lie somewhere in between.
“There are many things I cannot answer on this topic, kid. But, I believe, with all of my heart, that I will one day see those two babies and recognize them as mine.” His response nearly brought me to my knees. “Oh, absolutely, a mother will ALWAYS recognize her own babies.”
Like an arrow to the core of my heart, that simple statement gave me peace and comfort in the depths of my soul on a season of life, I believed had long since been put to bed.
One of my greatest hopes is that someday, I will get to witness my children have these types of deep, thought-provoking, faith-building conversations with their own children. Quite honestly, the heart and soul behind the unexpected words we shared between a mother and son on this random Sunday evening led to one of the most beautiful blessings I have ever received. The lessons learned from our children’s questions, growth, unique perspectives, and deeply held beliefs are truly what make my honor of being a boy mom skyrocket to unknown heights.
‘A mother will always recognize her own babies.’ Those precious words from my 11-year-old son will stay with me until my last breath. Because I so strongly believe it to be true. Mommas, no matter what your view on life, death, political leanings, or social constructs- we all have one thing in common: A deeply embedded love for our children. Whether they are young, old, estranged, in heaven, speaking to us, or not speaking to us, it doesn’t matter. A mother will always be bound by the invisible string of love to the heart of her child. That is one of the few things in this world I am absolutely certain about.
