Ask Sheryl: 7 Things You Can Do When You Have A Know-It-All Teen
Welcome to “Ask Sheryl,” where I answer real questions from moms navigating the ups and downs of raising tweens and teens. Every week inside our membership, I answer moms’ questions during our live coaching call. I thought I’d share a brief version here for you because, well, we all struggle with these things. You’re not alone—and I’m here to help!
Mom’s Question:
“What advice can you give us moms on what to do when your teen has to chime in with their opinion on every single thing you say—whether you asked for it or not? I’m a little worried because more than half the time what my teen says is either incorrect or completely incoherent. I know this is about their need to feel included, but honestly, I’m so annoyed every time they open their mouth! I’m trying not to correct them constantly, but I’m not doing a great job. My biggest concern is that my younger kids are listening and might believe these incorrect comments. Any suggestions?”
This is such a great question! I love how this mom is aware of both her frustration and the deeper need her teen is expressing—wanting to be included. Parenting a know-it-all teen can be exhausting. You want to respect their voice, but at the same time, it’s tough when what they’re saying isn’t accurate—especially when younger siblings are in earshot.
Finding that balance between honoring their input and correcting misinformation (without losing your cool) is tricky—but possible!
1. Recognize Their Developmental Drive
Imagine your teen’s brain is like a massive 1,000-piece puzzle they’re desperately trying to complete. The challenge? Some pieces are missing, others don’t fit yet, and they’re grabbing random pieces from other people’s puzzles—friends, social media, overheard conversations—and forcing them into place.
Why? Because they want to seem knowledgeable and capable—even when the pieces clearly don’t fit.
Our instinct is to jump in and say, “Nope! That’s the wrong piece!” every single time. But if we correct them too much, they might get frustrated and give up on figuring things out for themselves. If we ignore them completely, they might keep forcing the wrong pieces into place.
Instead, aim for a middle ground—respond in ways that guide them without shutting them down.
2. Pause Before Responding
When your teen says something that’s incorrect or irritating, take a breath. You don’t have to respond immediately. Pausing gives you a moment to choose how you want to react rather than automatically correcting or snapping. Sometimes just giving a little space can diffuse your frustration.
3. Validate Their Desire to Be Heard
Even if what they say is off-base, you can acknowledge their input. Try something like, “That’s an interesting perspective,” or “I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.” This doesn’t mean you agree with them—it just shows you respect that they’re thinking and contributing.
4. Guide Them to Think Critically
Instead of directly correcting them, ask questions that encourage reflection. You could say, “Hmm, that’s an idea. Where did you hear that?” or “What makes you think that’s true?” This invites them to examine their sources and think deeper rather than just spouting off opinions.
5. Choose When to Correct—and When to Let It Go
If the misinformation is harmless, sometimes it’s okay to let it slide. Teens often figure things out on their own, especially when not met with immediate correction. But if it’s something significant—like a fact younger siblings might believe—you can gently clarify. Try saying, “That’s a common misconception. Actually…” or “I used to think that too, but I learned…”
6. Have Private Conversations When Needed
If you’re concerned about younger kids hearing incorrect information, you can address it later in private. Pull your teen aside and say, “I love that you’re speaking up, but I was concerned when you said [X] earlier because it wasn’t accurate. Let’s figure out the right info together.” This helps avoid embarrassing them in front of others.
7. Model Grace and Curiosity
Teens pick up on how we handle mistakes—ours and theirs. If you model curiosity and a willingness to learn, they’ll be more likely to do the same. You might even say, “You know, I’m not sure about that either. Let’s look it up together.” This shifts the conversation from a battle of who’s right to a shared search for understanding.
Parenting a know-it-all teen isn’t easy, but remember: their constant opinions, corrections, and comments are actually signs that they’re growing, thinking for themselves, and wanting to be heard. It’s messy—and yes, it can be frustrating—but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them.
When you choose to listen (even when it’s annoying), pause before reacting, and gently guide them toward thinking critically, you’re helping them develop essential life skills—and showing them that their voice matters. Over time, they’ll learn when to speak up, when to hold back, and how to engage in meaningful conversations.
Most importantly, give yourself grace. No parent gets this perfectly right, and it’s okay to feel annoyed sometimes. What matters is that you keep showing up, loving them through the eye-rolls and debates, and reminding yourself that this stage won’t last forever.
You’ve got this, and I’m cheering you on every step of the way!
xoSheryl
