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Dear Mama, Breathe – This Too Shall Pass

If 2020 isn’t the year of feelings, I don’t know what is. But one day, it just came pouring out, like these pieces usually do and I realized for a moment that I’m surely not alone. I think moms everywhere are feeling the same rollercoaster of emotions. (Maybe without the Dolly Parton song:)

Knee-deep in the weeds of life.

In a situation that is not of my own making

I am tangled up in the chaos,

Surrounded by the mess

The bitter fights

The ugly cries

It is all mine

 

I remind myself to

Breathe…

Don’t take it all in

Because

This too shall pass

 

For every agonizing, stress fueled, ugly moment

There is one right behind it

Beautiful in equal measure

It is powerful

Filled with joy and love and belly laughs

 

I remind myself to

Breathe…

Take it all in

Because

This too shall pass

 

In the moments of overwhelm

The epiphany is

“I don’t have to have all the answers”
And my girls don’t always need me

To have all the answers

In the end, all they really need is to know is that

I am there

 

Up a flight of stairs

On the other side of the door

In the kitchen

In the garden

When they need me

I am there

 

When boredom reaches a fever pitch

And all they can do is scream into the ether

We sit

Side by side

Frustration and helplessness

Are on a tether these days

Gently tugging at my patience

 

But I remind myself to

Breathe…

Don’t take it all in

Because

This too shall pass

 

And then one day…

 

Deeper in the overwhelm

I realized that I

And I alone

Have the privilege of seeing them at their worst

I get to see the fights where

Tears, frustration, and anger

Distort words and their meaning

I see them unguarded

But I also get I see

What wonderful little weirdos they are

 

I remind myself to

Breathe…

Take it all in

Because

This too shall pass

 

While they used to navigate to

The far corners of the house

They now make their way into my office

Every day

There’s only one chair

But there are no complaints

These days

Togetherness is all that matters

 

I still complain about

The talking

The noise

The music

And the questions

So. Many. Questions

Every so often

 

I remind myself to

Breath…

Don’t take it all in

Because

This too shall pass

 

One day this will all over,

And we will return to our regularly scheduled lives

The house will fall quiet again

My days will no longer be punctuated with endless requests

Look at me

Look at this

Look at my drawing

Look at this Tik Tok

Make her stop!

What’s for lunch?

 

They’ll be back to their own lives

Back to friends

Back to secrets

Back to life without me

 

Dolly Parton on the speaker

Nine to five

They danced, they smiled, they laughed

Full of joy

Unguarded

It is all mine

 

The moment is fleeting

But I am sure to stop and

Take it all in

Because deep down inside I know

This too shall pass

 

Life will return to normal and everyone’s corner awaits

 

**Photo by Alexander Shustov on Unsplash