Dear Mama, Breathe – This Too Shall Pass
If 2020 isn’t the year of feelings, I don’t know what is. But one day, it just came pouring out, like these pieces usually do and I realized for a moment that I’m surely not alone. I think moms everywhere are feeling the same rollercoaster of emotions. (Maybe without the Dolly Parton song:)
Knee-deep in the weeds of life.
In a situation that is not of my own making
I am tangled up in the chaos,
Surrounded by the mess
The bitter fights
The ugly cries
It is all mine
I remind myself to
Breathe…
Don’t take it all in
Because
This too shall pass
For every agonizing, stress fueled, ugly moment
There is one right behind it
Beautiful in equal measure
It is powerful
Filled with joy and love and belly laughs
I remind myself to
Breathe…
Take it all in
Because
This too shall pass
In the moments of overwhelm
The epiphany is
“I don’t have to have all the answers”
And my girls don’t always need me
To have all the answers
In the end, all they really need is to know is that
I am there
Up a flight of stairs
On the other side of the door
In the kitchen
In the garden
When they need me
I am there
When boredom reaches a fever pitch
And all they can do is scream into the ether
We sit
Side by side
Frustration and helplessness
Are on a tether these days
Gently tugging at my patience
But I remind myself to
Breathe…
Don’t take it all in
Because
This too shall pass
And then one day…
Deeper in the overwhelm
I realized that I
And I alone
Have the privilege of seeing them at their worst
I get to see the fights where
Tears, frustration, and anger
Distort words and their meaning
I see them unguarded
But I also get I see
What wonderful little weirdos they are
I remind myself to
Breathe…
Take it all in
Because
This too shall pass
While they used to navigate to
The far corners of the house
They now make their way into my office
Every day
There’s only one chair
But there are no complaints
These days
Togetherness is all that matters
I still complain about
The talking
The noise
The music
And the questions
So. Many. Questions
Every so often
I remind myself to
Breath…
Don’t take it all in
Because
This too shall pass
One day this will all over,
And we will return to our regularly scheduled lives
The house will fall quiet again
My days will no longer be punctuated with endless requests
Look at me
Look at this
Look at my drawing
Look at this Tik Tok
Make her stop!
What’s for lunch?
They’ll be back to their own lives
Back to friends
Back to secrets
Back to life without me
Dolly Parton on the speaker
Nine to five
They danced, they smiled, they laughed
Full of joy
Unguarded
It is all mine
The moment is fleeting
But I am sure to stop and
Take it all in
Because deep down inside I know
This too shall pass
Life will return to normal and everyone’s corner awaits
**Photo by Alexander Shustov on Unsplash